 Last week I spent a lot of time thinking about the word “expectation.” It came about because as I was describing my actions to several people; I would always add, “…but I wasn’t doing it in order to receive something back.” Meaning I was not doing it expecting something back in return. Somewhere in the third or forth telling of my story, I asked myself why I had to keep adding that disclaimer. It then became clear to me that in some way I must have been expecting something in return as a result of my actions. I am clear that my actions were not done in order to receive something back, yet on some level, I expected something. Expectation is often defined as “a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.” So, as I was doing things for others, there was some part of me that had “a strong belief that something would be the case in the future.” That something took many different forms – “friendship,” “respect,” “kindness,” “understanding,” etc. Again, the actions I had taken were not done in order to receive “friendship,” “respect,” “kindness,” or “understanding,” but some part of me had expectations that those things would be received. As I pondered the word expectation and what role it had in my actions, I had to determine if it lined up with a Christian’s life. I determined that it did not line up. Luke 6:34-35 states “And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again. But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.” Matthew 6:3-4 states “But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth: That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.” Acts 20:35 states “I have shewed you all things, how that so laboring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how He said, it is more blessed to give than to receive.” In the above scriptures the Lord is telling Christians that they should give/take actions without expecting anything in return. In fact, Christians should seek to give/take actions with the least amount of fanfare, understanding that the Lord sees your actions, and He will reward you. My goal is to now give/take actions freely without expecting anything in return. I think it will take time to get there, but I believe this attitude will bring freedom. Glory to God for All That He Has Done Blessings - Janice Life Transitions Christian Coaching
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 Regret, what a loaded word. For some reason that word has entered my thoughts a few times over the past couple of weeks. Generally, the word regret is associated with a negative circumstance. I think of the phrase “I regret to inform you…,” or “I look back over my life with regret…” In both of these phrases, there is an undesirable connotation.
Regret is often defined as a feeling of sadness, repentance, or disappointment over something that has happened or been done. I suspect that most individuals would be able to describe some level of regret in their lives. What crossed my mind is the thought that if you can articulate regret, are you able to articulate what you can do to address or lessen the regret. The nine most common regrets that people have at the end of their lives include:
When I look at this list, I think to myself that if God’s wakes you tomorrow, you have an opportunity to address any regret. As you look at the list, which ones resonate with you? Are you spending too much time at work? Is there something you feel you should be doing to be a better spouse, parent, child, or friend? Do you want to take better care of yourself? Do you need to repair a relationship? Is there a dream you have postponed or been afraid to follow? Let me encourage you to seize the day (Carpe Diem) and begin to live a “regret free” life. Ask God for His guidance and trust in His promises. Let Philippians 3:13-14 serve as an encouraging scripture – “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before. I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Glory To God For All That He Has Done Blessings – Janice  recall a time in my life when I was carefree. That is not to say that I didn’t have responsibilities, or the occasional worry and stress that come from living in this world, but I was generally very carefree. Most recently I have felt weighed down, that is to say, burdened by the cares of the world and fighting desperately to get back to that carefree state. I often recall saying to friends that “I want to be light.” I viewed that lightness as being relieved from the burdens that seemed to be weighing me down. It was only this past week that I realized that being carefree is not being relieved of burdens, but rather choosing to be carefree. My aha moment was realizing that feeling heavy or feeling light was my choice.
After realizing it was a choice, I also realized how important it is to feel and be light. Christians are called to be God’s ambassadors and to allow His light to shine through us and to be a beacon to those that are in darkness. If Christians are weighed down, it may be difficult to allow God’s light to be visible to others. There are several scriptures that speak to this light and its importance. John 8:12 “Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.” I John 1:6-7 “If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: 7 But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.” Throughout the Bible, God admonishes Christians to let this light shine. Matthew 5:16 “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 5:14 “Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.” I Thessalonians 5:5 “Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness.” Ultimately I have decided it is a choice. I have the ability to determine how I will receive and view the challenges in my life. I can view them as a weight and allow myself to be burdened and risk hiding the light; or I can be prayerful, give the weight/burden to God (Psalms 55:22), and allow His light to shine brightly. Glory To God For All That He Has Done Blessings – Janice All scripture is in King James Version  A friend recently recommended the book “Waking The Dead” by John Eldredge. As I read the back of the book the word confidence came to mind. The back of the book reads, in part, “…to be touched by God is to be restored. To become all God meant you to be. That is what Christianity is supposed to do for you – make you whole, set you free, bring you fully alive.”
The words made me think how a Christian should move through this life with a certain level of confidence. Confidence is often defined as “the state of feeling certain about the truth of something,” God promises are sure, they provide a firm foundation upon which a Christian can stand and move. When we are sure about the ground we are walking on (e.g., concrete) , we don’t worry about the ground – we move quickly and firmly; we walk without looking down; we walk with purpose; we walk with confidence. When we are unsure about the ground we are walking on (e.g., gravel or ice), we worry about the ground – we move slowly and timidly; we walk looking down; we walk focused on the ground; we do not walk confidently. God’s promises allow the Christian to walk with confidence. The enemy is constantly seeking to shake the Christian’s confidence and slow the walk or even halt the walk all together. It is natural, in this life, for Christian to occasionally wonder and to test the ground before moving forward; but to ultimately and always move forward based on God’s promises and His will for our lives. As Christian’s grow in knowledge of God and in His will, the time between testing and movement should grow smaller and smaller. Confidence in God’s promises is not hubris, it is simply moving with faith and belief in the word of God. There are numerous scriptures that speak to having confidence, some include: Philippians 1:6 “Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ” (personal favorite) Proverbs 3:26 “For the Lord shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken.” Joshua 1:9 “Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.” I John 5:14 “And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, He heareth us.”
If you are not walking within His will, then stop your movement, study His word, seek His face, and ask God for His direction. Once His will is understood and accepted, then move forward with confidence knowing the foundation is strong and firm. Christians should always allow the Lord to go first, and to follow after Him. As a friend recently reminded me, He will “…go before thee, and make the crooked places straight… (Isaiah 45:2) Glory, Glory and Glory To God for All That He Has Done Blessings – Janice All scripture is in King James Version Over the past couple of weeks I have been very busy with various projects and recently realized that I had been neglecting my girl Tanner (an Italian Mastiff) and likely my husband – but the effect of the neglect on Tanner has been more pronounced.
Neglect is defined as failing to give attention or to leave undone/unattended. Tanner is wonderful and very obedient. She is generally a happy dog that gives love unconditionally. Before I was consumed with my projects, I had been walking her, spending time with her in the backyard, and just enjoying her company. The last couple of days she has been following me everywhere I go; she has been whining; she has been chewing on the carpet; she has seemed unsure of herself; she has been constantly putting her paw on my leg seeking attention. Basically, she has been acting outside of her normal character. This morning, I was wondering why she has been behaving so differently, and it hit as I looked in her big sad eyes. Her change in behavior is a direct result of my lack of attention (neglect) to her. She is confused about why the routine had changed and is trying to figure out her role and place in the new routine. This started me thinking about how differently Christians behave when they neglect their relationship with God! What happens when we neglect our prayer life, fellow-shipping, worship service, studying the word, and doing good works? Do we begin to whine, to become unsure of ourselves? Do we become destructive, do we wander aimlessly seeking attention? Do we act outside of ourselves? I think the clear and resounding answer is Yes! I have a duty and responsibility to nurture and to take care of Tanner, because I chose her to be in my life, and I must remember that there is a consequence when I neglect that duty. Christians have a duty (honor) and responsibility to nurture and to take care their relationship with God, because we chose to be “born again,” and to rise in newness with Him. We must remember that there is a consequence when that duty is neglected. I know that when I go back to nurturing Tanner, she will become centered, relaxed, and confident. She will return to being herself. In the exact same way, when Christians nurture their relationship with God, we become centered, relaxed, and confident. Some relevant scripture includes:
Glory To God For All That He Has Done Blessings – Janice If Only can be one of the most dangerous phrases in the English language. It can keep us paralyzed and living in the past. “If only I had another chance…,” “If only I could go back to my twenties…,” “If only I had chosen a different career…,” “If only I had said no…,” “If only I had said yes…,”
 I was getting a massage recently and was recalling the words of the owner of the business. She said that she wanted her clients to know that they were “worthy” and should see taking care of themselves as a priority. The word worthy kept rolling over my mind and while I completely understood what she meant, the word precious also came to mind. I started thinking of how precious we must be to God for Him to sacrifice His only begotten son.
The word precious is often defined as something of high price or great value; very valuable; highly esteemed; and beloved. God saw us as having great value, as being valuable, as highly esteemed, and beloved. I then thought about how I treat those things that I deem as precious in my life. I see my family and friends as precious, and thus I nurture and cultivate those relationships, and seek to care for, and protect them. God deems us as precious and of having value. “Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:31 God deems us as precious and has a desire to nurture and cultivate a relationship with us. “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and He with me. “ Revelation 3:20 God deems us as precious and seeks to care for us. “Casting all your care upon him; for He careth for you.” I Peter 5:7 God deems us precious and seeks to protect us. “Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.” Psalms 34:19 What great joy and comfort Christians should feel knowing how precious they are to God. Glory To God for All That He Has Done Blessings – Janice *All Scripture is in King James Version  I was thinking today of the importance of a filter. I developed a love of photography from my Dad, and it was during that time in my life that I became aware/familiar with filters. A camera filter is used for a variety of reasons including the desire to reduce glare, increase color saturation, or even simply to protect the camera lens itself. In addition to the various reasons to use a camera filter, there are a wealth of different kinds of filters, depending upon whether you want a subtle or drastic change to the change of the picture.
The most common definition for a filter is a device to remove unwanted material. These days my focus on filters is about the most important filter in a Christian’s life – the Bible. All aspects of my life should be filtered through the Word. How I receive and view the would should be filtered through the Word, and how I respond back to the world must, assuredly, be filtered through the Word. My initial thoughts, expressions, and views will be altered maybe subtly or drastically after being filtered through God’s Word. As my Minister noted a few weeks ago, God’s Word will change: Worldly Anger to Divine Love Worldly Lies to Divine Truth Worldly Defeat to Divine Victory Worldly Persecution to Divine Patience Worldly Despair to Divine Hope Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Glory To God for All That He Has Done Blessings - Janice  After describing a life circumstance (health challenges, family challenges, job challenges, financial challenges), you will often hear someone say “I will keep you in my prayers,” or “I will pray from you,” or “I will join in you with prayer,” or “I will go to God on your behalf.” I am always so very thankful and humbled at the thought that someone will take part of their relationship time with the Father on my behalf. This is particularly powerful when you know and believe that God has all power, and thus is able to change circumstances instantly. So the understanding that someone is going to go the almighty, merciful God on your behalf is not only powerful but beautiful.
God reminds us to:
But He also reminds us that Christians should:
My mind was turned to this topic after recently hearing the song “Be Blessed” by Yolanda Adams. Yes, I realize it is a very old song, but I am just hearing the song, and the lyrics reminded me of the beauty of someone praying on your behalf. Her lyrics reminded me of the depth of love and sincerely evidenced by someone praying on your behalf. Part of the lyrics are as follows: Search for strength inside was it all in vain Cause the deeper you dig you find more and more pain Don’t let your tomorrow be like yesterday Cause I spoke to God I called out your name And on your behalf I just asked If He would be there for you I want you to be blessed, don’t live life in distress Just let go let God, He’ll work it out for you I pray that your soul will be blessed Forever in His hands for you deserve His best no less You’ve been through so much Be blessed from the bottom of your feet to the crown of your head Your life be blessed, you family be blessed Your finances be blessed – everything about you Give it to Jesus, give it to Jesus Part of the song can be heard at: https://play.google.com/music/preview/Tddkbkmqnw5hzzwokfztqkfts2i?lyrics=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-lyrics Glory To Be God For All That He Has Done Blessings – Janice All scripture in King James Version  Rose Bush on Side of House I have finally allowed myself to admit that I enjoy gardening – not the vegetable type, but doing the lawn, taking care of the flowers, etc. It has taken me years to admit it, but I find it relaxing and rewarding. Several years ago, before I had fully embrace this understanding, I did have a rose garden. I was meticulous in my research, and had a variety in type, height, color, and bloom size. I think I had about 10 rose bushes. They were a lot of work, I battled black spot, bugs, heat, etc., but I would often have beautiful arrangements.
As is my normal routine, I did a lot of reading to find out how to take care of the roses, and one of the important tasks that I had to undertake was the annual pruning. I remember every year (late fall/early spring), I would clean the flower beds and do my pruning. My research told me the heavier I pruned, the more hearty, fully and health the rose would be that spring. I remember my Mom being horrified when she would see me pruning the roses, because it was seem so extreme. I have to admit there were a few times that I wondered if I had gone too far. Since moving from that house, I have just recently planted a couple of roses at my new home, and have found myself undertaking the pruning ritual again. My neighbor, a woman in her early 80s will always make it a point to tell me how beautiful the roses are when she sees me cutting them. I know she is expressing her feelings with the hope that I will understand that I should not cut too much off. Every time she expresses her feelings/concerns, I try to reassure her by letting her know that what I am doing will result in a stronger, more beautiful rose bush in the future – even though it is hard to see that right now. The last time we had this exchange, it got me thinking about the Christian walk. God tell us in John 15:2-3: "He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. " In order for a Christian to continue to produce, and to produce more fruit, God must prune him/her. When I prune my roses, I am doing it carefully, with detail, attention, and love. I am cutting away dead canes, or canes that are blocking the sun and thus stunting growth, with the goal of giving the rose bush the best chance of success. When God prunes us, He is doing it carefully, with detail, attention, and love. He is cutting away the dead areas of our lives, or the areas that are block His access and thus stunting our growth. His goal is to give us our best chance at Christian success. The pruning I was doing to the roses looked drastic to the observer, and anyone walking by may have thought the rose bush was going to die. If however, they walked by the same rose bush in the spring, they would be amazed how beautiful and strong the bush had become. In the same way, God’s pruning can look drastic to the observer, and they may wonder how the individual will survive. If however, they see that Christian at a later date, they would be amazed at how beautiful, strong and full of faith the individual has become. I remember when I was much younger in my Christian walk, my prayer was for God to prune me hard, because I knew that if He did and I stayed focused, I would emerge beautiful in His sight. Age has made me a little less brave, and I do not pray that prayer any longer, but the beauty is that with or without my prayer, God loves me enough to prune me whether I ask for it or not. I thank Him for the pruning, and am hopeful I will get to a state that I willingly seek it as well, because I know I will emerge Stronger Than Ever. Glory To God For All That He Has Done Blessings - Janice |
Janice CaldwellAssociate Certified Coach, ICF Archives
February 2019
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